Tales from Two Cup Ranch
Chapter One – Listening to the Little Birds
Over the past few days I had seen from the kitchen window of Two Cup Ranch some yukky greenish coloured water in the bird bath located in the back courtyard of Two Cup Ranch.
Today, on my way outside to spray some weeds in the pathways, I looked at the yukky greenish coloured water in the bird bath and thought I should clean it out for my little feathered bird friends.
So, I got the little scrubbing brush and took to the green stuff in the water and on the sides and the bottom of the bird bath.
Then I bailed out the discoloured water and gunk, using my hand to scoop out the now dirty water and swish it all away.
Having emptied the bird bath, I used the garden hose to refill the bird bath with fresh water – and so it became the now world-famous-at-1-Gretna-Green ‘Bird Bath Spa’.
I was really surprised that the line of little birds sitting on the fence watching me burst into a coordinated twittering, hopping from skinny leg to skinny leg, while flapping their feathered wings to their own Monty Python inspired singing of an unintelligible tune.
A self-appointed spokes-bird said to me, “I say old boy, that’s a spiffy job done well with the utmost panache. Now we will all have clean beaks as we drink from Bird Bath Spa, and we won’t get a tummy ache from drinking dirty water.”
A lonely blackbird watching the proceedings squawked to me, “About time you cleaned it out, you silly old geezer.” That was not very gracious of the Blackbird to say that.
I thought, Hmmm, you can please all of the birds some of the time, and some of the birds all the time, but you can’t please all of the birds all of the time.
Chapter Two – Saving Dead Tree Perch
While I was spraying the weeds in the pathway beside the world famous Bird Bath Spa, I wondered about getting rid of a now leafless dead tree that had been growing in a green tub beside Bird Bath Spa. But, would you believe it, a little bird read my thoughts and chirped in with its very loudest chirp to say, “No mister, please don’t even think of taking away Dead Tree Perch.” “Why”, I asked?
“Well, chirped Little Bird, when Oscar died and was buried in Loose Slat Gulley, Thin Lips and Saggy Belly had no one to bother anymore, so they stopped prowling – and so we all were able to enjoy no-cat Two Cups Ranch, free from prowling pesky cats that were trying to catch us to eat for their breakfast, lunch, or dinner.”
Little Bird continued, chirping “It was all safe and peaceful until I flew past the tall black fence in Loose Slat Gulley one day and I saw that one of those two pesky cats had been visiting Two Cups Ranch again.” I asked, “How do you know the cats had been visiting again”? “Well, with my bird eye from the sky, I noticed one of the slats from the top of the black fence in Loose Slat Gully had been knocked off again by a leaping cat”, chirped Little Bird.
Little Bird chirped, “Once the pesky cat had jumped over the black fence into Loose Slat Gulley, they would creep silently past the Oscar Memorial where Oscar is now buried, slink up the Stony Track making sure loose rocks didn’t clatter and make a noise under their softly creeping paws with sharp claws. At the top of Stony Track they arrived at a gate, which they leaped over, before coming to the twisty Winding Track Gulch. Once at the top of a sneaky climb up the twisty Winding Track Gulch, the prowling cat would be right there at the Bird Bath Spa, hoping to catch us beak-down drinking.
I asked, “So, tell me why do you want to keep Dead Tree Perch”? Little Bird answered by chirping, “So we can land on Dead Tree Perch first, and while gripping on with our little feet with sharp claws on our long skinny legs, we can take a good look around with our dark beady eyes to make sure there are no sneaky pesky cats lurking nearby before we fly to perch on the edge of Bird Bath Spa. Once perched on the edge of the Bird Bath Spa, with wings tucked in, and while gripping tightly with our little feet with sharp claws on our long skinny legs, we can carefully bend over and use our sharp pointed beak to take tiny little sips of a very welcome fresh water drink.”
Little Bird’s chirping continued, “But, if you take away Dead Tree Perch, we can’t land on it any more to check the pathway is clear of pesky cats before taking a drink with our sharp pointed beak from Bird Bath Spa. And, as we don’t want to be gobbled up by a pesky cat with big sharp teeth, long droopy whiskers, pointed furry ears and a long flicking tail we really want you to leave Dead Tree Perch just where it is.”
And so that is why Dead Tree Perch is still beside Bird Bath Spa at Two Cup Ranch.
THE END
Written in 2012 by Grandad Jim
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